It is hard to know where to begin, other than to say the President told a Whopper on national television about health care — again.
The most disturbing thing about his health care Whoppers is that he does it with such ease and grace. He practices telling Whoopers. He enjoys telling Whoppers. He makes Whoppers up. Right in his own house. Makes them right on the spot. Super fast too. In fact, some Whoppers can appear right in front of you in seconds.
Maybe he should be the Spokesman in Chief for the Big Whopper. Or maybe there should be a big sign around the 1500 block of Pennsylvania Ave. — Home of the Whopper. Or Home of the King of the Whopper. (King Whopper among the commoners.)
On the one of five Sunday morning talk shows attended by the Whopper-in-Chief, CBS quoted Senator Hatch (R-UT) who said:
“If anyone believes that Washington can do a plan that will cost close to a trillion dollars, cover all Americans, not raise taxes on anyone, not increase the deficit, not reduce benefits or choices for our families or our seniors, then I have a bridge to sell you.”
In fact, in response to this obvious ridicule about his Whoppers, King Whopper told more Whoppers, which Politico reported thusly:
President Barack Obama blitzed the Sunday morning airwaves to pitch health reform but found himself on the defensive — denying the plan breaks his campaign promise not to raise taxes on the middle class and insisting the public insurance option isn’t dead.
Last week, Senator Rockefeller (D-WV) who is a member of the Senate Finance Committee told ABC News that the Senate plan had a “big, big tax” on the middle class. The Wall Street Journal reported that unions were up in arms about the tax and quoted one union member, Mr. Corner, who said: “It’s really going to impact the middle class.” The same health plan has the words tax or fee 243 times.
All of this may be explained by way of background: the name of the Land of the Whopper is called Whopper-bama, which is a special administrative district where the people who live there are call themselves Whopper-bamians, and are fed a constant diet of Whoppers. This food is so special and important that Whopper-bamians even feed Jr. Whoppers to their kids and elderly.
In fact, they have a big Whopper factory that is painted White. Before it was a factory it was called a House. (Although sometimes people slip back to their old ways and call it the House of Whopper, or more often, the Whopper House.)
Indeed, Whopper-bamians show great reverence towards Whoppers — they love Whoppers. It makes them feel better.
And what is really interesting is that some say — eating Whoppers leads to better health. Really, that is what Whopper-bamians say. For example, if you are dealing with an emotional subject, like abortion or immigration, then, that is when you really must have a Whopper. Calms you right down. I have seen it happen. True story.
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